Ode to Poop

Her Reluctant Box Of Chocolates

by: Mrs. Mad Crapper

For days I’ve sat and held it in,
It choked inside and hurt like sin.
It made me sweat and steam and stew,
Whenever I caught a whiff, oh pew.

Oh shit, Valentine's Day is here;
Hold on just a moment dear!
This day I’ll do it, come rain or shine.
I can not shit, oh Valentine!

I was strong and now I’m weak,
So a secret potion now I seek,
To help me balance out my life,
To help me shed this inner strife.

What torment makes me whimper deep,
That keeps me nights without much sleep,
That took the strength from muscles strong,
That makes me hear a turdy song.

This potion must be magic sweet,
To make me whole, again complete.
So be my potion, please now, Fleet's
Provide sweet release on that porceline seat.

So hurry now tear open the box,
Dammit, I got some on my socks!
Insert the tube up in my chute,
Squeeze the bag, fight the urge to poot.

Now I have to wait a bit,
And fight and fight the urge to shit!
I sweat and clench my ass cheeks tight,
Oh how now I must be a sight.

No longer can I hold it in,
I feel I've achieved State of Zen.
So empty now I'm as can be,
I reach for paper; what do I see?

There is none there for me to use!
I scream and cuss and wonder why,
How will I ever ask my guy.
But he is knocking at the door,
"Is there a problem dear, I must implore..."

"You have been making such a fuss,'
"With the farting, pooing, and all that cuss.'
"Do you need some help in there?'
"So I wonder do I dare?"

Should I ask for help; will he care?
I cave and ask for some paper.
I tell him of my enema caper.
We have a good laugh when all is done.
All clean now, time for some Valentine's day fun.

That's how I knew he could be mine.
My stinkiest, my Valentine.

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