I was so exited when i got a letter saying id be starting work at a classy theatre up town which was really swanky, anyway to celebrate the night before i started work my friends and i desided what a perfect excuse for a night on the tiles.so we partied & partied afterwards we went to a really bad indian take-away and being REALLY drunk i desided to have the HOTTEST curry available.
Next day it was a hot day so i wore a loose skirt &blouse &mybest shoes so, off to work, had an ice cold orange to start me off,arived at work everything fine (including my boss!)i was heading home i was feeling funny so desided to take the lift whilst in the lift (on my own) i had a sudden urge to fart i was alone and no 1 had called for the lift so i let out this very wet fart big misstake! i had runny pooh all down my legs over the lift floor and the smell was rancid i had no choice but to wait for the lift to stop at ground floor .As the lift opened there was my boss and my colleges who all held there noses as i did the WALK OF SHAME whilst hearing my boss asking the cleaner to clean up my mess.Needless to say i packed in.
From Poop Butt: *Winner*
Well, this happened when I was about 17 after I had lunch at Subway. I forget what kind of sandwich I ate, but my girlfriend and I both split a foot-long sandwich and then left to drive back to her house about 30 miles away. On the way there, my girlfriend started complaining about having some stomach cramps and so I had to pull over and let her go and use the toilet. She told me that she was really sick and that she really wanted to go home and lay down for a bit to feel better, so I got her home as quickly as possible. So, I dropped her off and headed back home to my house.
On the way back, my stomach began to hurt as well, but I just tried to ignore it. I was nearly home when a huge burst of diarhhea broke loose from between my ass cheeks and soiled my jeans. It was then that I realized that the Subway sandwich had caused this dis-ass-ter. I was furious about it and had to go in to my parents and explain what had happened as the wet poop had soaked clean through my trousers. So, what I did was to clean myself up and then I put the dirtied Levi's in a trash bag.
I went back up to Subway that evening and walked in with an angry frown on my face. I screamed, THIS IS WHAT YOUR SHITTY FOOD DID TO ME, YOU UNCLEAN VERMIN!!! And I threw the bag of dirty poop pants at the pimply kid that had served me this infected sandwich. Wet poop flew all over the kid and I walked out laughing. It was embarrassing to me because my family knew about the dirtied pants, but when I got back home and told them what I'd done to that kid, we all had a good laugh over it. Sometimes I even tell that story over dinner and we all have a nice hearty laugh and wonder how that kid's doing today...
All these great stories came from unwind.com, you can read more @ http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/pottystories.shtml
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